Perimenopause: What I Wish I’d Known Sooner
- Sandi Konta
- Aug 19
- 2 min read
Perimenopause is one of those seasons of life that sneaks up on many of us.
I used to think hot flashes would be the big sign. Instead, what showed up for me was a different kind of shift: migraines. They were the first big clue my body was moving into this new chapter.
It turns out hot flashes are often one of the last symptoms to arrive, closer to menopause itself. By then, many women have already been navigating years of changes without realizing what was happening.
I sat down with Allison Poole, a perimenopause and midlife expert, to learn more.
Breaking It Down
Perimenopause: The 10–15 years before menopause when your body is preparing to stop menstruating.
Menopause: The point in time when you’ve gone 12 months in a row without a period. (Allison Poole, a midlife and perimenopause expert, calls it your “menopause birthday.”)
Postmenopause: The stage of life after menopause.
The average age of menopause in the U.S. is 51, which means many of us start experiencing perimenopausal symptoms in our mid- to late-thirties. For those of us who had babies “later,” postpartum and perimenopause can overlap. What a ride!
Common Perimenopause Symptoms
Here are some of the most common signs that perimenopause may be underway:
Irregular cycles
Changes in flow (heavier or lighter)
More intense PMS
Trouble sleeping
Irritability, anxiety, or depression
Brain fog
Night sweats
Less energy
Hot flashes (closer to menopause)
Some women also experience:
Heart palpitations
Menstrual migraines (before or after their period—like me)
Of course, this isn’t everything. Every woman’s experience looks different.
A Holistic Approach to Care
Allison encourages women to pause and reflect on how they want to live the second half of their lives. Some of the areas she invites us to explore include:
Rest and sleep
Nutrition
Movement
Pleasure
Creativity
Joy
Energy and boundaries
Nervous system regulation
What About HRT?
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) can be a really important tool for some women. But Allison emphasized that it tends to work best when combined with a broader approach to well-being—things like rest, movement, and nourishment.
Acceptance First
One of the most powerful things Allison said has stuck with me:
“When we push perimenopause away or pretend it isn’t happening, the struggle often deepens.”
Meeting this season with openness and acceptance doesn’t mean it’s easy, it means we give ourselves permission to care for our bodies with more compassion.
Trust Your Gut
If you’re feeling off, trust it. If you find yourself knowing more than your health practitioner, it may be time to seek someone new. Perimenopause-savvy practioners
Where to Learn More
If you want support navigating midlife, perimenopause, or menopause, check out Allison’s work:
This isn’t an ad, simply someone I deeply believe in.
One thing I love about this season is that feels like the final frontier to the land of giving no more f*cks. Do you agree?