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About

Hi! My name is Sandi, and
I am done being good.

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Sandi Konta, MSW
Certified Fair Play Facilitator
(She/they)

I was an A+ good girl who grew up to become a burned-out supermom. 

 

Sound familiar? 

 

After many years of overwhelm and resentment, I went through a journey of reclaiming my life by:

  • unlearning outdated gender norms

  • recognizing how I was complicit in my oppression and making different choices

  • implementing Fair Play and creating more equity in my household

  • reclaiming my time, my worth, and my dreams

Now, I am passionate about supporting moms who are ready to reclaim their lives, ditch outdated gender norms, and return to themselves after living as "good girls" for too long. 

I found Fair Play because I needed support.

 

Like many couples, after welcoming children, my partner and I fell into traditional gender roles. I stayed home to care for our babies and took on the bulk of the parenting and household responsibilities. Between breastfeeding, caring for our children, and our home, I was working (inside the home) 90+ hours per week. I was exhausted but sold myself the story that this was normal.

After a couple of years, I chose to return to work full-time outside the home and remained responsible for the bulk of the domestic labor. I felt like I was failing as a professional, a mom, and in taking care of our home. There was no space in my thoughts, or my life, for me. 

Although I was living in a sea of overwhelm and resentment, It ultimately took a health scare for me to wake up. I realized I didn't have to accept my reality. My partner and I had a choice. 

I became obsessed with creating a new reality. One where my partner and I were more connected, he felt empowered at home, and I had a much shorter to-do list.

I saw how I was complicit in my oppression and was constantly making decisions that perpetuated the inequities in my household. I started making different choices and setting boundaries that honored my needs.

As much as I tried, I couldn't figure out how to share the mental load. Fair Play was the missing piece. We now have:

  • a shared vocabulary for talking about domestic life,

  • a system for re-distributing household chores, and

  • a common goal to stop doing things that don't align with our values. 

My partner feels more ownership and I no longer have to nag. We both have more time to pursue what lights us up. Our household is more peaceful.

While Fair Play was not an overnight fix, I started feeling relief quickly. Our success inspired me to become a Fair Play Facilitator. 

my fair play story

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Outside of being a recovering good girl and a Fair Play Facilitator...

I am someone who believes deeply in the power we each have to transform our thoughts and our lives.

Activism feeds me. It is also where I find my people. I believe that my liberation is tied to your liberation and to the liberation of all people. I believe that dismantling our internalized oppression (bye bye outdated gender norms) is one of the keys to finding freedom in our lives. Fair Play is a tool that can help us find that freedom.

Little feels better to me than putting my hands in the dirt and growing things. Our garden keeps getting bigger and bigger but I will always feel like a beginner. I like that feeling.

I sometimes drive near the ocean, open the window to smell the salty air, and then drive away. I can't get enough of that smell. 


I am a Certified Fair Play Facilitator and am currently in the Wayfinder Life Coach Training created by Martha Beck. 

Professionally, I have an MSW and my professional background is rooted in community organizing, training, marketing, development, and facilitation.

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"Since you started using Fair Play, you are less stressed out."

-My child

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