About
Hi! My name is Sandi, and
I am done being good.
Sandi Konta, MSW
Certified Fair Play Facilitator
(She/they)
I was an A+ good girl who grew up to become an overwhelmed super mom.
Sound familiar?
After many years of overwhelm and resentment, I went through a journey of reclaiming my life by:
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dismantling my internalized oppression (goodbye outdated gender norms),
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recognizing how I was complicit in my oppression and making different choices
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implementing Fair Play and creating more equity in my household
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reclaiming my time, my worth, and my dreams
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Now, I am passionate about supporting moms who are ready to reclaim their lives, ditch outdated gender norms, and return to themselves after living as "good girls" for too long.
I found Fair Play because I needed support.
Like many couples, after welcoming children, my partner and I fell into traditional gender roles. I stayed home to care for our babies and took on the bulk of the parenting and household responsibilities. Between breastfeeding, caring for our children, and our home, I was working (inside the home) 90+ hours per week. I was exhausted but sold myself the story that this was normal.
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After a couple of years, I chose to return to work full-time outside the home and remained responsible for the bulk of the domestic labor. I felt like I was failing as a professional, a mom, and in taking care of our home. There was no space in my thoughts, or my life, for me.
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Although I was living in a sea of overwhelm and resentment, It ultimately took a health scare for me to wake up. I realized I didn't have to accept my reality. My partner and I had a choice.
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I became obsessed with creating a new reality. One where my partner and I were more connected, he felt empowered at home, and I had a much shorter to-do list.
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I saw how I was complicit in my oppression and was constantly making decisions that perpetuated the inequities in my household. I started making different choices and setting boundaries that honored my needs.
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As much as I tried, I couldn't figure out how to share the mental load. Fair Play was the missing piece. We now have:
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a shared vocabulary for talking about domestic life,
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a system for re-distributing household chores, and
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a common goal to stop doing things that don't align with our values.
My partner feels more ownership and I no longer have to nag. We both have more time to pursue what lights us up. Our household is more peaceful.
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While Fair Play was not an overnight fix, I started feeling relief quickly. Our success inspired me to become a Fair Play Facilitator.
my fair play story
Outside of being a recovering good girl and a Fair Play Facilitator...
I am someone who believes deeply in the power we each have to transform our thoughts and our lives.
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Activism feeds me. It is also where I find my people. I believe that my liberation is tied to your liberation and to the liberation of all people. I believe that dismantling our internalized oppression (bye bye outdated gender norms) is one of the keys to finding freedom in our lives. Fair Play is a tool that can help us find that freedom.
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Little feels better to me than putting my hands in the dirt and growing things. Our garden keeps getting bigger and bigger but I will always feel like a beginner. I like that feeling.
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I sometimes drive near the ocean, open the window to smell the salty air, and then drive away. I can't get enough of that smell.
I am a Certified Fair Play Facilitator and am currently in the Wayfinder Life Coach Training created by Martha Beck.
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Professionally, I have an MSW and my professional background is rooted in community organizing, training, marketing, development, and facilitation.
"Since you started using Fair Play, you are less stressed out."
-My child
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